Vonnaver's forth entry.

Seventeenth entry

Hope stands when the darkness comes, when the candle has burnt out and all is over.  Hope does not give to the change of doubt, if gives a destination for you to focus to bring back the spark in your life.  This has happened to me today.  I was making a life for myself in the darkness and saying it was good.  Elminster visited me unexpectedly, I did not see him enter for I was occupied with playing at that moment.  When the last note sounded I opened my eyes and there he was at the corner table.  It took me a moment to notice it was him, I went and sat there with him.  It is not like him to be in taverns, at least that's my perception of him.  After pleasantries he told me why he had come.  Two things had been on his mind, first was to do with the City of the Dead.  A body was found there and though he did not give me details it was obvious that something was wrong with it.  I do not mean the fact that it was dead or found near/in the City of the Dead for if it were just another death Elminster would have not brought it up.  He gave little detail only that another Second Chance agent would be here the following day with more information.  The only thing he did give was that I was not to share this mission or any information with Remi or Renaer.  I agreed, for he had a good reason I’m sure.  I then had to ask why it was he asked about my wings after my faked death.  It had been bugging me, he already knew the story.  Shortly after we arrived in Waterdeep I told him, so why now after all that has happened would he ask again.  He told me that it had been on his mind, like that of a puzzle, he wanted to know the solution inorder to scratch the itch the mind gets when it wants an answer.  At least that is how he put it to the best of my memory.  He asked if I was still interested in having them again.  How do you respond to someone who wants to hand you hope, yet you believe there was no more for you.  Yes of course I wanted my wings, but how could I tell him that?  I had been getting used to the thought I would never fly again and here he says I could.  I doubted him, but as he explained the options I realized it was not as hopeless as I thought.  Getting past my pain and doubt I told him that if he was willing then yes I wanted my wings back.  We settled on regrowing them, it would take many weeks and I would have to relearn how to fly.  At least work their strength up so I could fly as in days gone by.  He told me that when he gets back we could start, he would be gone for a few days.  I thanked him,  but the words sounded hollow to me.  How can I thank a man who has given me hope and in the form of something I thought I could never have again?  There is nothing I could ever do to show my gratitude to him.  The best I can do for him is to work even harder for Second Chance and do all I can to help them grow and fulfill their goals.  I went to bed with forgotten dreams of flight and hope of a new tomorrow.  

I have been reading up on birds, mainly that of phoenixes.  There is little on them.  I'm going to ask Rishaal if his library has anything on them.  Something of the phoenixes speaks to me, there is no logical reason for my research into them.  Just fascination.  I went down and greeted various guests then sat down to play the harp.  I normally don’t play in front of others, but it is a festive time.  Not with singing and dancing, but still a celebration and this is how I do it every year.  And it is a celebration of the past and things hoped for in the future.  I cannot share my past with anyone, but music goes beyond pain and hate, regret and lies.  The harp has always spoken to me, even if I was just sharing it with myself I could play for hours.  Unfortunately that was not the case, it seems Rishaal had wanted to speak, for he waved me over when I had finished the song of the moment.  I asked him if he had books on phoenixes and he said he would have to look when he got home.  He then introduced me to the famous author Collette Moreau.  Her fame had yet to reach me, but when she said she wrote novels it made sense why I hadn’t heard of her.  I don’t read many novels, I enjoy them when I do read them but I like books with real information, facts not dreams.  Novels are, for me, when I need a break from real life or the informational books I often read.  She was disappointed to know I had not heard of her, I believe any author of a novel or other work would be disappointed to know that someone had yet to read their work.  After this she handed me a letter and I knew at once who she was.  I called Corvin when he had finished his song on the flute and the three of us went into the tower.  It was there I first smelt it, garlic, I excused it thinking perhaps she just hadn’t had a chance to bathe or it was heavy in her food that morning.  I assumed it was Collette for Corvin had never smelled that way and the tower smelled only of dampness when it did smell.  The letter was from Elminster as expected, he told of the details surrounding the body's appearance and who has the body and is to be expecting us to investigate it.  He did not share what the physician thought on the matter for he wanted our view to be untantied, he said that Collette Moreau was a specialist in the matter and we would need her help.  Elminster vouches for her, I respect his judgment.  She too is a part of Second chance. 

We traveled to the North Ward where we went to the shop of a coffin maker who I think also was a diener.  No one answered when we entered, I called out and no replay was forthcoming.  Collette went into the back room and started opening coffins that lined the wall!  I can handle Corvin pickpocketing, but grave robbing was out of the question.  She didn’t even try to explain what she was doing, only that she wasn’t grave robbing.  This did not satisfy me at all.  Corvin had stayed in the entrance room I assume because something caught his interest, for he has no problem rooming about someone else's place.  Nor did Salin, they are alike at times.  After a heated conversation, from my point of view, I left to go to the upper rooms.  She did little to put me at ease.    All she said was the undead might be involved, unsettling but makes sense in a place like a Coffin maker.  I reached out with my magic and felt something wholly wrong nearby, I left to tell the others.  Corvin had joined Collette at this time, she was observing one coffin in particular now and Corvin-I don’t actually remember what he was doing.  I told them both what I felt and we all headed up at once.  After navigating the place we entered what looked like the owner's room.  Corvin cast his magic and yet nothing was there, but I could feel the presence in the room.  I looked up just in time to see a creature jump from the ceiling to me, I dogged it’s vicious teeth as it tried to bite my neck.  The other joined in the fight and together we dealt with it.  It was some form of a vampire, I know little on the topic only that they don’t stay dead unless you do something particular to them.  Collette knew what needed to be done and told Corvin to take the body to the other room and me to investigate the room we were currently standing in.  At this I told her that if she wanted us to trust her and function as a team she better get to know our strengths and weaknesses.  For Corvin would have been better suited to searching the room, I’ve noticed he like Salin can find everything of interest in a room.  Still I searched the room and did find a few things, the coins I gave to Corvin and I found some paper that said the owner was a part of the Carpenters guild.  We met up again and we watched as Collette did what is necessary to keep vampires and other undead, dead.  When the deed was done we explored the rest of the house for anything else.  The owner we had found earlier was dead.  In another room we found fine dirt, between Corvin and Collette they learned it was magical.  Corvin found a few valuables I’m sure, he always does.  I then asked him to forge a letter that we would post on the front door simply stating that the owner was out and wouldn't be back for a few days.  Corvin did wonderful and the signature looked much like that of the real owner.  In a few days time I will be able to send Elminster the information and he can do with the house as he sees fit, for now at least no one else will be bothering that place.  

Collette said that we needed to see someone who has more information on what we are dealing with, I agreed since she was reluctant to tell us.  At least now it makes sense why she offered us garlic before we entered the Coffin maker’s place and why she smells of the stuff all the time.  She could have at least told us that she was a vampire hunter of sorts, I assume this for much of what she said and did led me to believe this.  But why keep your team in the dark?  Did she think we would be scared and run off or tell people?  Why not share what we were dealing with?  Regardless we headed to her contact…. 

Her contact was the nephew to one of the members of the Party of Crazed Adventurers.  Apparently the book keeper for the party.  Flint, we learned he was called, agreed to help Collette and get his uncles journal.  It turns out he does not have as much privilege as he led us to believe and the bartender would not let us go to Flint’s uncle’s room to look at the journal.  I just wanted to go back home, I could feel myself boiling over.  It wasn’t always this way, anger did not come easily to me and yet now I find strangers are the ones who provoke it or I should say those who are hiding something.  And I don’t mean their life or some trivial thing, I am reforming to information that could help.  No, no there must be a good reason she did not share information, I cannot let my darker side rise again...  I stepped up to help and told the barkeeper that I was with the marchet guild specifically the Tavern owners.  And that we have been looking into some robberies of our goods and that rumors of undead have been involved and few people are willing to escort our cargo with these rumors going about.  I told him that we have been looking for this information we believe lies within this man's uncle's journal, we needed it to hopefully disprove the idea the undead have been taking our goods.  He asked me why he hadn’t heard of this, I went straight to work and asked him why we would tell people that undead have been taking their goods?  We have no proof of anything yet and we are getting tired of throwing money at everything to keep people quit.  I said we just needed to read it, but he could watch us.  The journal did not need to leave this place.  I hope anyways, Collette has proven to be unpredictable and since she isn’t sharing the plan I can only hope she wasn’t planning on stealing it.  He showed us the way to the room and we waited outside as he retrieved the book.  Once back Collette opened the book.  We were all taken back by the thunderous sound that filled the hall, the barkeep apologized about it and said he wasn’t surprised that the man had enchanted his journal agents unwanted readers.  Collette was able to find the passage and make a copy for herself with plans to make more once we left and she could sit and focus.  

We finally headed home, or at least my home.  Though I do believe Corvin calls it home too, I think it’s because he gets free food whenever and because all Second Chance agents get to stay there for free.  I invited Collette and Flint to join, she accepted after some thought.  Flint chose to sleep in his own home, something I understand.  I wanted to see if Rishaal had any books on vampires since I wasn’t going to ask ‘share no information’ author Collette.  My mood towards her has darkened again because she made a comment about either Corvin or I being interesting and that she might add us to her next story.  I don’t know how Corvin feels about such things, but I am in hiding.  I don’t want to be in some book.  She assured me that she changes names and places, but all her books are based on her adventures.  If this is true I hope she finds this one too boring to write, I want nothing to do with being in a story.  I don’t pretend to be interesting.  But regardless I don’t even want to be mentioned even if it’s just once and connected to some obscure thing.

Rishaal’s library was closed as was expected since it was quite late, I looked at his window to see if he was still wide awake or if he was turning off the lights.  I could make nothing out so I went to Trollskull manor and inn.  Corvin met me outside before I could enter, because he wanted to test a ring he got two days ago.  We headed to the ally, there I watched him do some silly things.  Running up and down the alley or pointing the ring at the sky, nothing changed.  He then asked me to hit him to see if the ring would defend him.  I pulled my warfan out with no hesitation, why wouldn’t I?  I did not hit him though, I stopped an inch or so from his face but he didn’t know that so the ring wouldn’t know either or I assume.  Nothing happened, he asked that I cast Word of Radiance on him.  I did and nothing.  So we headed in, to try another day.  I went straight to my library and gathered all the books on vampires, unfortunately they were all novels.  Nothing of facts.  I read them none the less for the author must have done some research before publishing or at least I assume they would.  To my surprise they were more enjoyable than I thought they could be, either the author was really that good or I needed to step away from the world.  I was not reading from cover to cover, but reading quickly for useful information but when it got to the last on my list it indeed intrigued me even more so than the others.  I looked to see who the author was, to my surprise it was Collette Moreau.  I had a hard time putting the book down, but I needed to.  I was still in a lot of pain from our fight earlier that day.  I am not going to tell Collette what I think of her books, I don’t want her thinking I want her autograph, after all it is just her name I’ve never seen value in autographs.  She throws it around like people will be lining the streets to just catch a glimpse of her.  Maybe it’s what she needs to feel valued or to cover pain, I don’t know.  Either way I’m not going to feed into it, if she wants my respect or acknowledgment at all she needs to do it just like everyone else and just like I must when I wish for someone’s respect.  I never liked it, even as a princess, when people did anything and everything just to please me because I was a part of the royal house.  I want real and close friends who trust one and another completely where no one is better than the other, and until she can prove that she doesn’t want me to gawk at her and is just a person I cannot open myself to her.  It’s hard though, as much as I didn’t like everyone knowing me at the same time there is a small part of me that misses it.  I need to learn humility, I thought I had when I lost everything but I see I haven't.  I have done nothing but speak of myself for pages and put others down.  I must set my journal aside and focus on life, for now.