Lady Vonnaver Lorieth's journal. First entry.

 

Fourteenth entry:

Where to begin?  Much has happened since I last had a chance to write.  

We defeated the two guilds, Xanathar Guild and Zhentarim are no more.  Through negotiations, if you can call them that, we got one to turn on the other.  Though they were already enemies, we gave the final push.  Before that outcome however, I learned Reaner had been with us since we were captured.  I will not go through all the misunderstandings that occurred.  But we were taken captive for magic used on guards unintentionally.  Regardless, Nilsa convinced a Captain to let us go find and free Lady Silverhand’s daughter, Maura.  We did in the end free her.  But that was Nilsa’s goal, mine was to find Reaner.  I had no need, he had been watching from the shadows.  I can not tell you how relieved I was to see him, at the same time I had a desire to inflict harm on him.  We are both stubborn, neither of us will to lose the other nor give up our point of view.  In the end, I chose to follow him, even to death.  But that was not the outcome.  When we left the tower we were placed under arrest again.   I had forgotten, while Reaner and I spoke he brought forth a silver necklace.  One he had gotten at great price, I don’t know what he did to get it.  But with it held a promise to a new life; I think my fortitude was wearing thin for I nearly lost control of my emotions at that point.  When we were arrested for the second time, we each had our own cells.  I wrote for many long hours it seemed, I could think of little else.  I was worn, like a garment that had seen too many seasons.  Yet I felt new.  I was saying goodbye to friends I did not know I had until just than.  Salin and Reaner’s were the hardest.  Salin since I met him has always been there, making me laugh.  I would trust him with many things, though to express this in any way beyond that of a letter would be near impossible for me.  He was as much family as I have ever known.  I will seek out information about him when I can.  Reaner’s letter was hard for with it, it bore a hidden fear...I had much hope that he would accept me in his life, yet I dared not hope.  I feared he too would turn away, I was wrong.  I went to bed after writing the letters, next I woke up in the snow.  I heard something in the distance I ran to it.  Only to find a young girl in need.  I tried to free her, but I had no chance against this foe.  She threw me out the window, where we proceeded to have a conversation.  The day had been trying enough, this only added to my confusion and lessaning of emotional fortitude.  The woman who attacked me told me after harming me and throwing me through a window that she was my mother.  I have heard of bad mother-daughter relationships, yet I can’t help but feel mine is the crown of them all.  I am too flustered to try and put that conversation/argument down.  I took the pill after that, I then found my way to the yawning portal, the tavern I told Reaner I would be at.  There a part of my past was revealed to me and given back.  The darkness in my mind is not an empty void, but a courtin concealing my past.  In time the gods will reveal who I was and I will have a better understanding of who I am.   Mystra the goddess explained much to me, yet I find it both hard and easy to believe her words.  Easy for there can be no lie in them, hard for I dare not believe I could do any of what she has said I’ve done.  It will take time for me to process what has happened.  Oh, in my youth I was a flyer, when the wind carried my wings and I was void of weight… A power-magic I had forgotten lied within those memories.  I remember my training in both sword and magic.  I remember the many races I went on, the close calls were many.  Sword play was one of my favorite pastimes with a young male Tavain, one whom if fate and gods left me, I might have shared my life with.  I remember my lessons, not everything.  Yet I remember the weapons were easy for me, magic was not as much.  Perhaps that is why I did not remember my connection to it.  I remember that the night was when I chose to practice, it often got me in trouble.  Yet I was not the only moonwing who flew in darkness to hone my skill.  My wings turned black during one of those nights, there were white originally.  As I believe all Tavain wings are until their skill changes them.  I even remember changing my hair to red, I think someone dared me, but I don’t recall.  Just that I vowed never to do it again.  I was brought back to myself, I was once again in the tavern.  Many bustled around me, I then saw Lady Haventree (Remi to her friends) who left a cloak for me on a table.  I took it and after a time followed her outside.  She lead me to, what I believe is, her home.  After some food in silence, she told me someone was there to see me.  I was not sure how to feel, no one knew me which left only one person.  For he would tell only one person, Lady Haventree, that I was alive.  I walked in the next room and there was Reaner.  He ran forward, where as my legs held fast, as if they were stone.  My heart skipped a beat, I do not know why.  But seeing him again brought me great joy, as it did him, or at least I assumed for a hug is a weird way to say you don’t wish to see someone again.  We embraced, relieved to see one another alive and well.  I was high on adrenaline or near exhaustion, either way I don’t remember much of that evening.  Except that Reaner was wanting to share something but was silence by Remi.  When he left for the evening he said he would be there the following day, then he planted a kiss on my forehead and I squeezed his hand as if trying to thank him.  I do not know what possessed me to do so, but I am glad I did.  I went to sleep that night and for the first time I was not troubled, nor was I when I awoke.  When I was dressed and had some time to think, I went down to breakfast only to find that Reaner was there already.  So was Remi but as she lived there that was not a surprise.  We talked about an opportunity for my new life, I won't go into details as this journal holds enough secrets I will not put one that could risk so many down.  Reaner was very excited though, but gave me peace and did not bring it up again until the evening.  Between breakfast and evening we spoke of many things, for the most part trying to catch up and he took great care to be sure that we spoke only of pleasant things.  I am grateful for that, I need even if it’s just one day, but a day of nothing really.  That evening plans were made for my new life and I agreed to help these people in any way I could.  I consider it an honor they would allow me in and to help me in all that they are doing.  I have been given a manor that is being turned into an inn, I have made arrangements that it will hold certain secrets and niceties for any who work for these people.  For the purpose of this journal I will call them “Second chance.”.  I owe much to Reaner for many details he oversaw and my thanks to Second chance.  He took care to see anything I might have need of.  My appearance has been changed, my style altered.  I have been given a new name, I am now know as Lady Vonnaver Lorieth.  I must become accustomed to hearing and writing it.  Though I wonder if I will ever need a middle name, I never did until I met Reaner.  Yet even then I chose to give it, it was not a requirement.  Many things are changing, I hope for the better.  Yet darkness still wonders in the corners of my mind, as if warning me there is a storm coming.  Perhaps I just need time….